So I wrote these a few days ago.
Just thought side share them with the world.
August, 4th, 2012.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH TODAY.
Okay... I woke up in the shower.
WHO THE FUCK WAKES UP IN THE SHOWER?!
Then when I got out and went to get some toast,
My brother was smiling at me ._.
But not a normal smile...
Like one you get from the fat guy at the next table over when you go in McDonald's...
Its just me and him at home right now, as my parents and siblings are away for the weekend.
He kept following me all around the house. It was fucking weird.
So, in a creeped out way, I left.
I went to go get pool floaties for my non existent child ^.^
Except they were for me... <3
When I left the pool store with my floaties, guess who I saw.
My fucking brother riding by on his bike.
WHAT THE FUCK.
So I went home, scared.
AND HE WAS IN MY ROOM GOING THROUGH MY CLOTHES.
I was to freaked out to even....
*Sigh*
I don't even know.
Then I just backed out slowly.
He continued to then sniff my clothes while staring at me.
So now I'm at Ronnie's house.
Lol we are so gunna do it tonight <3
Bye.
August, 5th, 2012
12:38 P.M-
I am home from my night with Ronnie.
And I don't know where Simon went...
Like he's no where to be found in this house.
My clothes are all over my room and there's a stick broken in half on my bed that has been slept in.
My sheets are all wet. My pictures of Ceil on my wall all have x's on the faces. The clothes that were in my drawer have been moved to under my brothers bed.
What the fuck.
3:00 P.M-
So I went out to look for Simon.
As my parents are getting back tommorow and I can't afford to be held responsible for his disappearance.
That would ruin my reputation.
Like I know I'm into that shit but not with my brother.
Ewe. He's ratchet.
Anyway, I found Simon asleep in the slide in the park.
I'm not even kidding.
What the fuck is wrong with him?
Now after a long fight to get him home,
I had to tie him in a chair.
He's trying to bite his way out.
Freaking dumbass ~
Bye every pony c:
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Where obsession became beautiful... (Part 2)
(So I guess that im going to be finishing this? Okay yay. Blah blah this shit probably won't be suitable for all ages.)
I pressed the back of her body up against my chest tightly, then ran my tongue across her shoulder so that the strap from her tank top would fall onto her elbow. Sally had stopped struggling and was now standing there still, her eyes shut lightly, her head cocked so that I had full access to her neck. Her lips were pursed Like she was waiting for something to get over this it.
I started to make out with her neck,
(I can't even think of ideas to write I'm so tired. I promise I'll post u tommorrow though...)
I pressed the back of her body up against my chest tightly, then ran my tongue across her shoulder so that the strap from her tank top would fall onto her elbow. Sally had stopped struggling and was now standing there still, her eyes shut lightly, her head cocked so that I had full access to her neck. Her lips were pursed Like she was waiting for something to get over this it.
I started to make out with her neck,
(I can't even think of ideas to write I'm so tired. I promise I'll post u tommorrow though...)
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Where Obsession becomes beautiful. (Part one?) ~ A Story Written by Tyler Tutrone
I was always a really lonely person.
Actually, the only time that I can remember having a friend was in third grade, when Sally Loghus and I use to play all the time together. I still remember her now. She was so pretty, she was. You notice how she wore a diffrent dress everyday., never repeating. It made her seem so high class. I think I was the only one that ever noticed it, though.
God. She had such pretty eyes. They were big and round and blue. The color a deep sapphires. Even now, if I were to see her, I would do things to her... even if she was only a child...
I'd do horrible things.
I shot up from my bed, panting and sweaty. I looked around the dark room, trying my best to gather the last bit of sanity that I even had left. It hadn't been a dream this time... his mind was really debating those things. And he couldn't do anything about it. He swallowed hard but stubbornly began to get comfortable and attempt to go back to sleep.
"You know what you could do, Shaun?" It was my teddy bear. He never gave me go ideas, but I listened anyway. I sometimes even did them, if I wanted to.
"Whats that?"
"You could look her up right now. I bet you'd find her since you know her name and everything. Then think of the possibilities...!"
I pondered the decision in my mind, but noticed that my hands were, almost on there own, traveling down to reach my laptop stored under my bed.
"That's it. Good job." The bear chuckled and then drifted back into normal teddy bear mode.
It wasn't long before I found her. She looked better then ever. My beloved Sally... I could almost feel her inside me... a smile curled on my lips as I began getting dressed, the whole time being followed by those three figures that haunt me.
"Be faster!" Said the first, "I need to touch her..." his voice trailed off in its demonic manner. I ignored him and continued to get ready. I took his sweet time finding his car keys.
"For christ sssaakke come oooon!!!" Said the second in its snake like manner.
I went even slower to get into the car, but started to speed up as i drove away away from the house. I knew where she lived. I knew which bedroom was hers... i even knew what she was wearing... my mouth started to water.
I pulled up the dirt road, but turned and Went around the large tees to avoid distraction. Its always funner when they don't suspect anything. I walked up to the cabin with a grin on my face.
The door had been unlocked. She was always so ignorant... I thought to myself, then snapped back to what I was doing and slowly crept up the stairs in the dark. I could smell her getting closer... I knew exactly where she was...
I sleeked into the bedroom on the left, slowly shutting the door and locking it behind me with no purpose. She wouldn't be able to escape me. My smile was huge, sinister and growing. My eyes were covered by my dark brown shoulder lengthed hair. I crept next to the bed and sat there, watching her sleep.
I began to place my hand over her beatiful mouth, sliding a finger up to the tip of her noes, then I pressed down, stopping her breathing completely. At first she had no expression, but then her emotion changed from confusion to panic. Her eyes shot open and her arms began to wail around frantically. It was so satisfying watching her suffer...
Right before she passed out, I took my hand away so that she could breathe. All while keeping that sinister smile on my face. She gasped for breath, sweat dripping from her face. She was staring at the hand that was covering her agonizing coughs. She was sitting up in bed, one of the straps of her tank top was falling down on her shoulder. It almost tempted me enough to get her right there, but I was smarter then that.
She finally caught her breath, looked at me as her expression again changed from confusion to... fear. The sight of it flash her eyes was enough to make my mouth water (which, it did). She started to leave the bed quickly, I let her escape just enough so that she thought that she would we safe, then I wrapped my arms around her little torso, locking her arms at there sides, my arms squeezing them sadistically. I ran my chin across the side of her chin, and her head turned up to welcome it, but snapped back to what was happening to quickly.
She struggled and thrashed around, but she was helpless... it was adorable. I smiled slyly and whispered in her ear "you can't escape me...." then let out a sexy sounding chuckle, then began to quickly un bottom my white long sleeved (id had them rolled up) top. Sally gasped when she realized what i would be doing to her, and tryed to scream for help but was gagged by a strip of my shirt that id ripped off so she wouldn't scream. Then I rolled my shirt up and tied her wrists together with it, holding it behind her back. I ran my hands up and down her curves, then pulled her closer to me, so my chin was on her neck.
"Shhh..." I chuckled in Sally's ear, but the hot breathe traveled down her neck, arousing her immediately. Sally let out a faint gasp of pleasure, but was still trying to struggle from him.
My arms traveled to wrap around her waist, pulling Her closer, so her hips are just below my waist. I chuckled on your neck and whispered lightly... "Just... relax..."
( okay... I'm stopping their for now x) should I continue this...? You decide!)
Introduction to Tyler.
Hi everyone ^.^
If you are reading this, then you probably know me in some way...
(If you don't, we can still get it on, Though :3)
So this is kind of just... a serious sort of blog because I'm not really usually serious at anytime... and it gets sort of tiring.
So when I post in here it will probably be something serious... so don't come here if you want the Lolz...
Hello there. I'm Tyler. I live in Arizona and I'm 16 years old. I can't drive because I suck at it. I've smashed into walls every time I've attempted to drive. School sucks for me, mostly because there are so many bitchy people in it. I date a lot, but I've noticed the really awesome girls are the relationships I like the most.
I like men. No I'm not full on game obviously... I don't like penis. I like the way that guys look xD but at the same time I like the way girls look, so they kind of cancel each other out. that's why I would classify myself as having no sexual preference because I really just don't see the point. You're going to be judged either way.
I'm a very silly person, but I can be serious. I prefer to be silly, but everyone needs a break every once and a while. The reason I'm so weird is because... mostly that Its to cover up my shyness. Yeah.. I'm pretty shy.. I try not to draw to much attention to yourself... but then I started to like accept myself and I started to become who I am today (:
Honestly, I think that religion is all an excuse to get people worked up, like, if you really do believe in what all is said in the Bible and everything, that's totally okay. Don't be a dick about it though, like there me be things that you don't like in this world, but you don't have to attack the person (I'm using Sexualty as an example here) that believes in what you don't. You never know why a person is the way they are and to attack them with such mislead intentions, is cruel. I myself am a Wiccan and I very much believe that karma exists, so when they tell you what goes around comes around, you better believe tat when you give that hobo on the street a $5 dollar bill, you're going to find a great treasure yourself.
My Childhood--
Well, my child hood wasn't bad or anything. I grew up with a troll mom and a strict dad and it makes for a really interesting family. I have 2 older brothers named Michael and Barney (his name scares me, too) and then I have a younger sister and a younger brother, Simon and Jane. Overall, my child hood was awesome. We lived in Florida and my grandma was rich and everything... me and my 2 brothers used to go to her house everyday and get loads of money for cleaning. It was a really good time... but it all started to suck when I got 7. My little brother was born. He annoyed the shit of of me. I could never concentrate. I was always up in my room banging my head up against the wall to stop the migrain from his damn crying all day. I'm not kidding. You'll never here a child as loud as Simon.
When I was about 10, I think, my Grand ma passed away. Grand ma helped my parents pay the rent for our apartment and I think that's why we moved to shitty Arizona. My dads family was here, and they had some money as well to help us. Our ass hole grandpa had been the one who made sure nobody would be the house after he died.
Anyway then I hated Arizona. I'm naturally pretty pale so all the "witty" people there always made remarks on that... when I reached 13 is when people started to call me, "faggot" or "Emo" or my very favorite, "cutter". It was just slurs on how I looked. But I was completely fine with how I looked. I still am now, sort of, except I'm kind of self conscious that something will go wrong with my hair or something.
People were always fighting at my house. They were always having fueds about pointless things that would lead up into bigger fights and bigger until, in some cases, someone has to call the cops. I'm not kidding. They were bad. My older brother, Michael got his noes broken by my cousin a few times. It was probably good that he was getting put in his place... but there was something unsettling about my cousin that I didn't always like. He never smiled, and he always looked like he was about to punch someone.
I always stayed away from my dads family because they were all nut cases, but they usually gave me shit about why I was always up in my room. They wondered what I was doing. Honestly, was usually writing songs or stories. But they could never know that. They still don't.
My Life Now and the recent past--
On April, 16th, 2011 (I remember because I marked this in a journal so I would never do it again) I was ammited into banner Estrella hospital. The reason for this was because I hit a major artery when cutting myself. I had been cutting because of the teasing and all the people in my family constantly fighting. I knew that I was becoming a little fucked up mentally, but I didn't have anyone to talk to, s I kept it inside until it all popped open one night. That night.
You don't need to know the details of what exactly happened, I'll say that my sister found me leaning over the bathroom sink, i was half consious, and she had to get my parents who then took me to the hospital. I wasn't a wake for a while, but my doctor said that t was a surprise they were even able to stop the blood loss from getting dangerously low. I was kind of mad, I think, that it hadn't killed me. Ide been reading so many stories... but I guessed they weren't true.
I spent only maybe 3 days in the hospital. I was only suppose to stay 2, but my mom insisted an extra day. In that time, so many people came from my school to see me. My friends and some strangers... I noticed how a lot more people actually cared then I thought. That day, I wrote this down and I've stuck to it even today...
"The scars on your wrists are things of the past now. You're stronger because of them, now you relieze you can face a lot more obsticals then you thought. You also realized that people do really love and care for you. Love does exist and its living in everyone. Were all the same in one way... and that is that we all want to be accepted. So, with you being alive as proof, today marks the day that you won't waste a day of life, that you will live your life to the fullest and love every day of it. Keep in mind, that theres always hope. Stay strong, Tyler."
That was a part to the letter i wrote to myself the night before I left the hospital. It was a great day for me. My first day of really living. Its still great, even today.
Right now I live with my Mom, Dad, Aunt and Little brother and sister. They get on my nerves and are always commenting on how weird I look or how gay I am, but I love them. I don't have a girl friend or boy friend but its okay. I'm not exactly looking for LOVE RIGHT now, but once I find it in someone, I'll know, and I hope they do to...
I haven't cut or thought about it at all since last year. Are you proud? Haha.
Right now my life is going really great. I'm glad that I'm moving on and that I'm making new friends each day. I'm even in a band with a few of my friends. We are actually pretty populat locally... we have had 17 gigs in our area ~
After people read my stories that I write, or how my life was , the look at ,e different. I don't want that, though. So please don't think anything new of me from this. I'm still Tyler. you just know more about me.
My Future--
When I grow up, I want to help kids get over cutting and other stuff, I also want to learn how to animate and make my own anime's. The number one thing I want to do though, is to fall in love. I don't want to be 40 and still looking for my soul mate, o want to settle down with someone I love and just be a good husband and daddy ^.^ weather it be with a boy or a girl...
As you can see, I'm not anywhere near the way I want to be in the future, but that's fine. The future is the future. I'm in now >;D so talk to me now if yoh want and dont regret it in the future...
Alright, thanks for sticking around.
I Love You <3
Bye(:
If you are reading this, then you probably know me in some way...
(If you don't, we can still get it on, Though :3)
So this is kind of just... a serious sort of blog because I'm not really usually serious at anytime... and it gets sort of tiring.
So when I post in here it will probably be something serious... so don't come here if you want the Lolz...
Hello there. I'm Tyler. I live in Arizona and I'm 16 years old. I can't drive because I suck at it. I've smashed into walls every time I've attempted to drive. School sucks for me, mostly because there are so many bitchy people in it. I date a lot, but I've noticed the really awesome girls are the relationships I like the most.
I like men. No I'm not full on game obviously... I don't like penis. I like the way that guys look xD but at the same time I like the way girls look, so they kind of cancel each other out. that's why I would classify myself as having no sexual preference because I really just don't see the point. You're going to be judged either way.
I'm a very silly person, but I can be serious. I prefer to be silly, but everyone needs a break every once and a while. The reason I'm so weird is because... mostly that Its to cover up my shyness. Yeah.. I'm pretty shy.. I try not to draw to much attention to yourself... but then I started to like accept myself and I started to become who I am today (:
Honestly, I think that religion is all an excuse to get people worked up, like, if you really do believe in what all is said in the Bible and everything, that's totally okay. Don't be a dick about it though, like there me be things that you don't like in this world, but you don't have to attack the person (I'm using Sexualty as an example here) that believes in what you don't. You never know why a person is the way they are and to attack them with such mislead intentions, is cruel. I myself am a Wiccan and I very much believe that karma exists, so when they tell you what goes around comes around, you better believe tat when you give that hobo on the street a $5 dollar bill, you're going to find a great treasure yourself.
My Childhood--
Well, my child hood wasn't bad or anything. I grew up with a troll mom and a strict dad and it makes for a really interesting family. I have 2 older brothers named Michael and Barney (his name scares me, too) and then I have a younger sister and a younger brother, Simon and Jane. Overall, my child hood was awesome. We lived in Florida and my grandma was rich and everything... me and my 2 brothers used to go to her house everyday and get loads of money for cleaning. It was a really good time... but it all started to suck when I got 7. My little brother was born. He annoyed the shit of of me. I could never concentrate. I was always up in my room banging my head up against the wall to stop the migrain from his damn crying all day. I'm not kidding. You'll never here a child as loud as Simon.
When I was about 10, I think, my Grand ma passed away. Grand ma helped my parents pay the rent for our apartment and I think that's why we moved to shitty Arizona. My dads family was here, and they had some money as well to help us. Our ass hole grandpa had been the one who made sure nobody would be the house after he died.
Anyway then I hated Arizona. I'm naturally pretty pale so all the "witty" people there always made remarks on that... when I reached 13 is when people started to call me, "faggot" or "Emo" or my very favorite, "cutter". It was just slurs on how I looked. But I was completely fine with how I looked. I still am now, sort of, except I'm kind of self conscious that something will go wrong with my hair or something.
People were always fighting at my house. They were always having fueds about pointless things that would lead up into bigger fights and bigger until, in some cases, someone has to call the cops. I'm not kidding. They were bad. My older brother, Michael got his noes broken by my cousin a few times. It was probably good that he was getting put in his place... but there was something unsettling about my cousin that I didn't always like. He never smiled, and he always looked like he was about to punch someone.
I always stayed away from my dads family because they were all nut cases, but they usually gave me shit about why I was always up in my room. They wondered what I was doing. Honestly, was usually writing songs or stories. But they could never know that. They still don't.
My Life Now and the recent past--
On April, 16th, 2011 (I remember because I marked this in a journal so I would never do it again) I was ammited into banner Estrella hospital. The reason for this was because I hit a major artery when cutting myself. I had been cutting because of the teasing and all the people in my family constantly fighting. I knew that I was becoming a little fucked up mentally, but I didn't have anyone to talk to, s I kept it inside until it all popped open one night. That night.
You don't need to know the details of what exactly happened, I'll say that my sister found me leaning over the bathroom sink, i was half consious, and she had to get my parents who then took me to the hospital. I wasn't a wake for a while, but my doctor said that t was a surprise they were even able to stop the blood loss from getting dangerously low. I was kind of mad, I think, that it hadn't killed me. Ide been reading so many stories... but I guessed they weren't true.
I spent only maybe 3 days in the hospital. I was only suppose to stay 2, but my mom insisted an extra day. In that time, so many people came from my school to see me. My friends and some strangers... I noticed how a lot more people actually cared then I thought. That day, I wrote this down and I've stuck to it even today...
"The scars on your wrists are things of the past now. You're stronger because of them, now you relieze you can face a lot more obsticals then you thought. You also realized that people do really love and care for you. Love does exist and its living in everyone. Were all the same in one way... and that is that we all want to be accepted. So, with you being alive as proof, today marks the day that you won't waste a day of life, that you will live your life to the fullest and love every day of it. Keep in mind, that theres always hope. Stay strong, Tyler."
That was a part to the letter i wrote to myself the night before I left the hospital. It was a great day for me. My first day of really living. Its still great, even today.
Right now I live with my Mom, Dad, Aunt and Little brother and sister. They get on my nerves and are always commenting on how weird I look or how gay I am, but I love them. I don't have a girl friend or boy friend but its okay. I'm not exactly looking for LOVE RIGHT now, but once I find it in someone, I'll know, and I hope they do to...
I haven't cut or thought about it at all since last year. Are you proud? Haha.
Right now my life is going really great. I'm glad that I'm moving on and that I'm making new friends each day. I'm even in a band with a few of my friends. We are actually pretty populat locally... we have had 17 gigs in our area ~
After people read my stories that I write, or how my life was , the look at ,e different. I don't want that, though. So please don't think anything new of me from this. I'm still Tyler. you just know more about me.
My Future--
When I grow up, I want to help kids get over cutting and other stuff, I also want to learn how to animate and make my own anime's. The number one thing I want to do though, is to fall in love. I don't want to be 40 and still looking for my soul mate, o want to settle down with someone I love and just be a good husband and daddy ^.^ weather it be with a boy or a girl...
As you can see, I'm not anywhere near the way I want to be in the future, but that's fine. The future is the future. I'm in now >;D so talk to me now if yoh want and dont regret it in the future...
Alright, thanks for sticking around.
I Love You <3
Bye(:
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